The Ravenblack Grimoire

Okay, picture it. You're in a war and the bodies are piling up. You haven't managed to pull a kill for your side yet, and your resources are drained. The leaders of your entire alliance were all just zeroed, and you're left holding the bag. What do you do?

Since there are a lot of dissenting views as far as how operations should go to end a conflict, I've decided to take these things and put it all together in a nice pretty manual for those of you Seconds who have been tossed into the fray and have no clue how to work on your behalf. Considering that I've sat in on numerous of these over my time here in the city, I feel like I'm the PERFECT expert to deliver to you...

The St. John Guide to Negotiation.

Shall we begin? Okay!

The first thing that any vampire should keep in mind regarding war negotiations is that you need to be clear what the situation is. Is this two groups squaring off who have taken comparable amounts of damage from the other side and both are coming to the table together to try to end things? Or was this conflict the equivalent of a one legged man in an ass kicking contest? If you're part of the former, then you would obviously meet each other with some modicum of respect. If it's the latter, and you're the one legged man, you'd better get your lips ready.

Once you've figured out what situation you're in, keep these next several steps in mind when moving through the negotiation process.

1. Ghosts don't count. If your leaders have been zeroed, them showing up to attempt to stop anything will be met with laughter from the group who just put them in that position. So stop being careless and name your hierarchy, so your members know who is next in command, and that person knows what they should be doing. Not doing that is doing your group a huge disservice.

2. If you're the group asking for it to be over, then YOU are the one giving. Contrary to the term, this will not be a negotiation. If you're dying and you're wanting it over, you don't get demands. You don't get terms. You get whatever the other party is willing to give, and you take it happily to save your skin, or you man up and die. Your side of the negotiation will always be "...and my people won't die." Allow me to repeat this in simpler terms: IF YOU ARE THE ONE ASKING FOR IT TO BE OVER, YOU DO NOT GET TO DEMAND ANYTHING.

3. When you enter these talks, expect the side who is winning to be completely hard nosed and even arrogant. Why? They've deserved it by stomping a mudhole in the ass of the other side. The side who has the mudhole? Do not even attempt to match this attitude, or you'll keep dying. To summarize: IF YOU'RE KICKING ASS, YOU GET TO BE A BITCH. IF YOU'RE LOSING, YOU GET TO BE THE BITCH.

4. Next, if you're the group asking for the conflict to be over, you cannot be wishy washy or you will lose your ability to come to the table. Saying you want the conflict over and you are willing to talk, then deciding the next day that you don't will make the other side laugh at you when you change your mind yet again. If you really don't want the conflict to end, or if you're not willing to bend (which you should be, since you're the ones losing), then do not ask for it to be over to begin with. Get your people together and go down swinging and with honor. Otherwise, you look like a giant pile of pussy who cannot make a decision. BE FIRM IN WHAT YOU ARE WILLING TO DO BEFORE YOU START TALKING.

5. Just because you say "Okay, it's over, we concede," doesn't mean that it's actually over, and to think that this works is just ridiculous. Face it, you're getting your ass kicked. Making a one line comment on a newspaper just isn't going to get it done. Man up and seek out the other leaders and discover what they want for it to be over. If you get the ability to make your own package then great, but don't make it insulting, either. Keep in mind, YOU were the one who asked for it to be over...not them. They'd have no problem continuing to stomp you into the ground. YOU WILL HAVE TO DO SOMETHING IN ORDER FOR THE CONFLICT TO BE OVER. WAVING YOUR HAND AND SAYING "KAY, WE'RE DONE," WILL NOT SUFFICE.

6. Another thing to keep in mind is that if the lives of your clan members and alliance are on the line, then it's a serious matter. Treating it as if it's Blue Collar Comedy Hour will only serve to annoy the other side...you know, the group who didn't ask for a talk. If you cannot be serious for the time it takes to talk, then you are projecting the image that your people are a joke. And you should always, ALWAYS, put your people first. IF LIVES ARE ON THE LINE, DON'T TREAT THE TALKS AS A JOKE. AS A LEADER, YOUR PEOPLE COME FIRST, NOT YOU.

7. Another thing that is not a good idea is being rude and insulting to the other side. Let's level for a second...if your side is the one dying, and you're the one who is wanting it to stop, and the other side has more than enough resources to kill you all, then being rude and insulting to the other is probably the silliest move you can make. Do your homework. Every leader in the city has a set of values they hold dear to them no matter what alignment they are. If you want the conflict to end, it would be wise to not stomp those values in talks in jest or in seriousness. INSULTING THE OPPOSING LEADER AND BEING RUDE IS THE EQUIVALENT OF SIGNING YOUR DEATH WARRANT.

8. Also, take into account what the demands of the winning side are. If you're getting away with a few apologies and a public concession, consider yourself lucky. In the past, demands have ranged from coin payoffs to a certain members' head on a pike. Ending things with words alone is by far the easiest way to get out of it. PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND DETERMINE WHETHER THE DEMANDS ARE REALLY UNREASONABLE, OR IF ITS YOUR EGO THAT THINKS THEY ARE. IF IT'S THE FORMER, DENY THEM AND GO OUT SWINGING...IF IT'S THE LATTER, PUT YOUR EGO ASIDE FOR THE GOOD OF YOUR PEOPLE FOR ONCE AND GET IT DONE.

Using these tips, hopefully you will be well on your way to getting yourself out of a jam.

So...you've stopped the conflict. Now what?

Well, if you were in the position of the one legged man, then it's very simple. Put a gag order on all your members from speaking publically for several months, and do a full assessment of your clan and your procedures. Obviously, if you got your behind handed to you in such a heavy fashion, something just isn't working. Figure out what that is and fix it. Otherwise, it won't take long for you to end up back in the position you were just in: Begging for mercy at the feet of yet another enemy.

If I've missed something, please let me know and if I agree ( ), then I'll include it in this manual....

As always, I tell the truth so you don't have to...not like you planned on it anyway.

~S~