The Ravenblack Grimoire

So Ravenblack has been introduced of a penal system. Funny the word itself should evoke such phallic imagery and it is little wonder God Raven in his infinite (if odd times quirky) wisdom thought it appropriate to introduce this form of incarceration.

Being that God Raven gets to arbitrarily decide who does and does not get themselves thrown into the locker it is hardly likely that a burgeoning system of formal government, a policing of laws hereto unknown is suddenly going to sprout out of this new repercussion.

But it does pose a rather pointed question to our city. What happens when he throws you in the locker? What is the penalty involved? How the hell do you avoid the embarrassment of, god forbid, the black and white striped PJ's you're forced to wear?

Well, it's easy enough.
Don't launder money. God Ravenblack frowns on this practice and if you are caught, you and your many little runners you've hired to send money off to Guido's Little Laundering Service so you can reap the rewards. Will be eradicated or jailed, or sadly, both. Raven believes in an honest days work. I know, how fucking unbelievable right? But it's true. If you get caught, you go to jail, a portion or all of your minions will be killed. Simple, easy and still sOOOOOooooo many try to get away with it.

Don't have your little minions working in tandem Now this is a tricky one cause you need to have a more developed understanding of the concept of a minion. There are levels of minions but there are those who have lost so much of their humanity that they require you to direct them completely, how to walk, where to walk, what to say. They have so little of their own volition that they exist only to serve their Masters - us.

Now God Raven isn't stupid. He realises that they aren't sentient beings and when you send all your little minions out to kill, spread mayhem or generally work in tandem at the detriment of others. He will lock your ass up and sadly for your minions eradicate them while he's at it.

He's a fair minded deity is our God Raven. He values human standards like honesty, fair play and trust. So the laws he has laid down, while hardly the concern of one such as us that lives forever, the consequence remains just as swift.

*poof* He lays his omni-potent finger down on your little vampire head and bam, you're out.

Now what exactly is jail you're asking?

I know many already know this, if you do feel free to skip the free lesson. If you don't, then you're lucky you've come when you have cause this one is a doozie.

It's no simple thing to stop a vampire. Jail in its human sense is a simple thing of concrete and bars in 12 x 12 cells of desperation and loneliness. Raven came up with a solution so horrendously simple and just as effective.

He will freeze you and render you mute.
Which doesn't sound all that bad does it, until you realise a couple important things;

You can't move, not blink, not twitch. Your body is frozen in whatever position you happen to be in when he decides to place his finger on you. Be that mid-walk, mid-fuck, mid-sentence. You'll just pop out of existence and bam frozen. Not that I could tell you if you remain that way during the entire incarceration (although I'm just cruel enough to hope you do). Cause no one can see you.

You're gone and the only thing we know about that time is that nothing you can do, nothing you wish to do, nothing you try to do is going to work.

You can't speak, you can't move, you can't wiggle, itch your ass or nothing. He blocks who you are and he blocks everything you own and he blocks every telepathy you could try all with a single touch. *poofs* Gone and from all accounts he keeps your brain working underneath it all. He allows your mind to understand the torture of implacable judgment.

Get Out Of Jail (not so Free) Card Now - doom and gloom aside, the upside of this joyful piece is rather ironic really. Considering the apparent piety of our deity, he is not above a little monetary inducement. Have friends who have cash to throw at the altar of our god cause they can't stand that you've been thrown to the big house? Awesome, he accepts Visa and Mastercard and could give a shit about 20% interest rates that may be incurred. Cold hard cash talks. And like any good businessman he will take the exorbitant fee he will charge to set you free, gladly reap the rewards of your own folly, release you to the city once more and sit back laughing.

But be warned, (and this is important) those who think it an easy thing to disobey the law, pay the piper, only to repeat. The fee goes up with each additional transgression and God Ravenblack is not above asking for more than you can afford. Most Gods are Cruel that way. Cruel to be kind. A liturgical thing I never did understand as a human either. Bloody ethical pious educators.

Gives me a rash.