Siring: Sheyrena Sires Aeryn DuSang (June 2006)
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Bite AwardsBite Awards Reminiscent of the Nitty Gritty Awards I admit having another awards show bandied about initially brought a sharp distaste to my mouth, like sneaky morning bile you wake up to, spit out and gag on. That said, I have to admit. This one, for all my protestations, is not so bad. I like Coquette. Unlike the choccyy cocks who coward behind confectionary coated cowardice, Coqqy (as I like to call her – and apropos to my current alliteration) plays a pretty even game. High praise from me indeed. I won’t go to the event by any means and the idea of it still gags like swallowed vomit when I think about it. But it’s not so bad. You have the same cliques with different faces doing the same voting pad bullshit but what came out in this wash was an interesting eclectic mix of new and old. Now let us take a look at the categories: Which apology was best in 2009 For what – I don’t know. I barely know who Brom is let alone Vera. I’m obviously uninformed. Who put out the best Ad in 2009? I think this is the one where he pedalled himself as a gay porn star isn’t it? I forget…. Someone obviously appreciated the offer to bend over. Where was the best place to be seen in 2009 Which I’m not a member of, so obviously this is complete crap. Which binding left you open mouthed and slack jawed? Ahh yes, this one was a doozie. But an obvious call for help right before she killed herself off. Unlife is like that sometimes. Bad decisions then death. Funny that. Who lost the most childer in 2009 Let this be a lesson to you, screwing your childer will not make them stay. It’s a proven fact. Who went through the most companions in 2009 And I repeat. Who? Who was the weirdest sire/child pair in 2009 Yeah, seriously WTF? Who was the best kill of 2009? Ohhh I think I helped kill him too. Definitely better dead and mute. Who was the best non-vampire of 2009? I don’t think any non-vampire was best. But a hell of a lot better than a freaking starfish. Dude. Who had the longest goodbye of 2009? By a long shot. Dude didn’t seem like he’d ever leave. Who was sired the most in 2009? Who did you want to wake up in 2009? Who was single and ready to mingle in 2009? And man he wasn’t all that picky who got his goods either. Atta boi! Who thought they were the bees knees in 2009 Didn’t he just get killed by contract? There is obviously someone out there who begs to differ. Who was the richest of 2009 You know, someone has to be operating under mistaken information. I happen to know….. *touches nose* What I know. Who wouldn’t you want to run into in a Dark Alley? Who had the worst D&B return of 2009? Can’t keep a good man down right? Yes right. Bwaa haaaa What was best in show and first in class for 2009? Naww my liddle toaster oven. Which non-D&B return was the best of 2009? They weren’t dead and buried, but you wished they were Ahh yes, well unlife isnt’ that simple is it? Who had the worst mistake of 2009? Anyone else hearing the Twilight Zone theme? Who was zeroed the most in 2009? For crimes of a Daly nature. He was a complete nod. Which D & B return was the best of 2009? Which vampire had the best retorts of 2009? Ohh me, me. ME!!! I want to thank the Academy and God, and God and the Academy and God, but most especially God, especially our God who throws bastards in jail and accepts bribes cause that’s the kind of God you can respect. And the Academy. Yes Yes YES!! *ahem* All talk no action. Who stuck to the shadows in 2009? What a darling, must be the zone out music, it puts me to sleep too. Who was the most accomplish fledgling of 2009? I wonder who she slept with to get that honour? Huh huh huh? You KNOW she did…. They all do. Who did the most for the city in 2009 Goes to show, bribery works. Give em gold and they’ll salivate at your feet. Which clan had the best school in 2009? Cause dats how we doo et! Holla Who annoyed you the most in 2009? The naked one who hangs on Archies every word. Hardly a surprise there. Who was the best sire of 2009? No one knew her until now. Apparently her childer can also vote. Which clan triumphed in 2009? Again bitches. We rock Who had the most notable feature of 2009? I can’t tell you what that feature was but given she’s female – I’d hazard it’s her tits. But don’t quote me on that. Or do, cause that would be funny. Who was the ‘it’ couple of 2009? Poll isn’t closed on this one and I had to vote in order to get an answer. So far Kaio and Mina are in the lead… and looks like they’ll be the winners. Ohh I know. I’m going to get shit for posting the results before Coqqy got off her Duffy to have the Awards ceremony but unlike the golden statue awards, it’s hardly a secret. As a salve to the wound though, may I encourage all 2 of you who will read this to go to the awards and coo over the winners. I won’t be there. But no one really expected me, nor wants me. Sad and unloved creature that I am. Damari By Damari at 2010-02-18 00:52 | News | RavenBlackCity | login or register to post comments | 442 reads
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