The Ravenblack Grimoire

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) Sag
I wrote yer forecast last this moon, usually I write Cancer or Capricorn last. But Aquarius has an interestin' chart (say that like ye mean 't an' ye, too, can be a prognosticator) fer Octobree an' Novembree. Maybe 'tis on accoun' o' me own family be comin' t' visit (I’m still clistin' th' coffins an' th' pokers an' ordered in a feather collector fer me lassie how scary be 't t' be havin' yer sire visit fer hork sake), but ya`ll will be havin' family either in yer hair, on yer mind, or in yer house fer some or part o' this time an' they will teeter between drivin' ye insane an' makin' ye insanely happy (let me be seein' happy be bilge water lily livered shitless) t' be havin' them. A turnin' point will happen on (go one guess th' date bet its easier than ye think ) 31 Octobree(hope th' family be nay still here then damn) after this turnin' point, an' ye be off an' set fer a REALLY REALLY good rest o' th' voyage (snickers apart from Novembree 'ere let’s face 't nay one’s goin' t' be happy). 't be in so many ways what ye`ve been lookin' toward fer all these long moons, th' slow poisonin' o' an enemy perhaps or th' sudden sunlight Davy Jones' locker o' yer old girl/ boyfriend dirty cheatin' Hoes). I feel really excited about Aquarius in `09. Davy Jones' locker mayhem an' blood cant beat itl.

I started with a joke more below really there is

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to
dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. 'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently' she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered:

August 2008
Is it really August already?
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
For those Dark dwellers of the night who just cant seem to get a bite i guess you need to hear “Never say never”? Your performance anxiety will vanish in August, and you’ll be sucking the life of party goers the city wide. It wont take much just a visit to a beauty therapy boutique yes the mono tone hair and black lip gloss is so passé and last year you will have to put yourself on display instead of sinking into the globby little pit of your inner life.. So -- in August, risk failure. Risk rejection. Just get out there shake your bootie and be the life (or un-life of the party). Even if you find it uncomfortable out in the open with others, the stars say you’ll look good doing it.

Okay, picture it. You're in a war and the bodies are piling up. You haven't managed to pull a kill for your side yet, and your resources are drained. The leaders of your entire alliance were all just zeroed, and you're left holding the bag. What do you do?

Since there are a lot of dissenting views as far as how operations should go to end a conflict, I've decided to take these things and put it all together in a nice pretty manual for those of you Seconds who have been tossed into the fray and have no clue how to work on your behalf. Considering that I've sat in on numerous of these over my time here in the city, I feel like I'm the PERFECT expert to deliver to you...

Aries (March 21st-April 19th)
Despite having to deal with some annoying insecurities and/or behind-the-scenes-disruptions June can end up being a pretty great month for you. What makes it great? Movement! (No not bowl but come to think of it you had one this century?)Between June 11th-27th Mercury ignites the good decisions, excellent communications, and fun trips that inspire your favourite feeling: The Thrill of the kill. Begin Something New – possibly with someone new. You might be especially empowered June 16,17,and 20 as your ideas catch fire (and so too does your enemy). Do not ask any one if your arse looks big in these jeans, just accept it yes it does. Anyone who reminds you of this, slaughter them and any progeny they have. What to do about those pesky unexpected issues popping up? Treat them like you do everything else: holy water and garlic spray. Sex can be fun, go get some, watch some. Just make sure they are alive before doing it well unless that’s what you like.

The smell of flesh. The puddles of blood oozing across the streets. The sounds of glass breaking and canisters discharging. The murmurs of vampires reading scrolls, posturing up, and sharing strategy. This, folks, is the picture of war.

This picture I’ve painted used to be one that could be present on almost any given night. Innocent vampires would have to watch their steps as they touched down onto the streets or get tossed around like rag dolls due to bad timing. The crunch of broken holy water vials under ones foot was an almost comforting sound, as it was the sound of several things. For some, it was the sound of success and others failure…and for others it was the sound of relief or jealousy. All in all, it was a sound that just was.

When I left The Republic last July, I spent several months without a clan until eventually joining the ranks of Yggdrasil. During that time, I had several vampires and vampiresses seek my counsel regarding clans. More specifically, these vamps wanted information about clans that would suit them and their personalities and also some wanted information about clan life in general. I’m sure some were coming to me in order to get justification of their stance that clan life was stupid, assuming that since I had just left it that I was no longer a proponent of such. Since I’ve served in clans in various capacities ranging from just a member to the leader of two clans, I decided to take some of the advice that I’ve been handing out to various members of the RavenBlack community and condense it down to one happy little guide.

Another year is gone, and it’s time for my second annual overview. Before reviewing this year’s list of ridiculousness, let’s go back and review last year’s special winners and where they are now!

***

10. jimmher and sharrinya: Well, jimmher is nowhere to be found, and sharrinya has taken the last year to produce the city’s most used interactive news source. Granted, her clan philosophies may still be quite a bit off base, but the success of the BCIN has pulled her off the list for this year.

9. EvilBill: You did nothing of note to make it on last year’s list, and surprise! You earned yourself a spot on this year’s! See below.

Dear Mistress Sanguine~

I have an interesting problem that could potentially ruin my marriage. My wife and I are not in the same clan, yet we are happily married. When we were first bound, we agreed to keep our relationship free of any politics to save either of us from having to compromise our clan’s knowledge. This method worked for a while, but lately she has been lightly discussing political topics that I do not feel comfortable talking about. I know she isn’t doing this on purpose, but I feel that if I tell her to cease, she’ll take it as an affront on our vow to be open and honest with each other. The longer we are together, the more I think that having my spouse in another clan might not be such a great idea. Any suggestions?

Dear Mistress Sanguine ~

I am currently an active member of a well-known clan in the city. I am also a member of a bloodline of which I am loyal to. I have recently been asked to participate in an action against a threat to the bloodline, but my clan leader made it clear that I was not to get involved. Should I listen to the head of my bloodline and risk removal from my clan? Or should I listen to my clan leader and risk being cast out of my family. Help!

Sincerely,
TornIn2

Dear TornIn2 ~

It is unfortunate that you have been placed in such a difficult situation, but this is more common than you would be led to believe. Usually most clans make it clear that your resources are going to be at their disposal for tactical purposes. If you willingly took this oath of loyalty to your clan, it is understood that your actions will directly affect the clan you are in, thus limiting your ability to participate in attacks of any nature without their express permission. I cannot direct you easily towards clan or family; that decision lies within the confines of your heart. The more pressing question would be what is more important to you, clan or bloodline?

Over the past few weeks, I've watched a debate around the city regarding clan history and who is important. The Ferrymen have been the clan that has been singled out in this debate, with former members claiming their accolades publically and current members denying their importance. Although The Ferrymen are the face of the debate, this discussion could be had regarding any past or current clan in the city. After watching the comments and hearing the side chatter, I think that most of you are way off the mark as far as clan histories are concerned. Let me explain.

My point in this matter is very simple. Basically, the bottom line is, EVERY vampire that crosses the threshold of a clan has in some way or another shaped its history, even if they don't do something gigantic and earth shattering. The entire POINT of a clan is to have several members working together for a common goal and if you can get a bunch of people together just working, they're building the legacy of that clan and are part of history.

Over the past several weeks, the city as a whole has been dealing with the departure of several of its own. From all corners of the city, these vampires all left within days of one another and for those who were in immediate relations, it probably hit harder than others. Some may have thrown parties, others climbed in lawnchairs and popped a brewhaha, waiting to see what fallout if any would occur.

Why did they leave? Well, no one is going to be 100% sure of that, even if they were given a reason. I didn’t tell everyone all of the reasons I stepped down in my clan, and so it’s a pretty safe bet that there are a few hidden reasons strewn about that folks just don’t know. At this point I would like to make it clear that I really do not care what they were. One of them could have left because they can’t find purplish green fingernail polish in the city, and it would be fine. It’s just not my place to judge why any of them left.

In a city that is usually filled with bloodshed and smartassed comments, lately it seems as if the city has been filled with heavy decisions instead. Vampires are choosing to leave the city behind, others are leaving their clans behind, and others are splitting from their bloodlines. In reality, decisions like this are generally a commonday occurrance that do well to keep the reporters of the city busy with their revolving door nature. The last several months, however, these same type of decisions have gone far to change the political landscape of the city.

A year ago this time, there were three entities gaining strength in the city. There were the perennial House of Heorot/Capadocious Clan/The Ferrymen combination, the up and coming Unholy Alliance containing the Sanctuary of Immortal Enlightenment, Republic of Ravenblack, and Enforcers of Enlightenment, and the combination of The Inner Circle/Yggdrasil/Empty Spiral. While the Ferrymen broke off and joined the Unholy Alliance with the Hall of Rogues soon following, HoH/Cap Clan picked up groups breaking off from the main Cap Clan, and TiC/Ygg/ES began adding a number of other clans to their fold, if they hadn't already.

July 14th, in the year of grace 2007.

Last Will and Testament,

I, Lucius of the Dreaming, citizen of the city of RavenBlack, do hereby make, write with my own blood and declare this to be my last Will and Testament, hereby revoking all previous wills and codicils by me made.

To twylyte, my sister of blood, my home, Palazzo Lucius, at the intersection of Zebra and 27th, Ravenblack, all its contents but my wife's , my personal property - jewelry, cars, and all other unassigned assets. I hereby appoint twylyte, RavenBlack, as my lawful Executrix. She will see to it that any of my childer will find a shelter in my home, provide any form of assistance to them as she sees fit - this, of course, doesn't apply to the childer of my wife - and wish twylyte to continue as the lawful Executrix of my legacy after my death.

Change. An interesting topic, change is one that is constantly brought up in this city and around the world in various incarnations. The willingness to change or not is often an argument that boils over in the unlives of each one of us at some point. Change could be a simple decision like the redecoration of living space. Change could also be as complicated as watching your entire world shift around you. Change can be a savior or a devil; a friend or an enemy.

Change is prevalent in about every society past or present that has ever existed. For the good or for the better, cities have improved, empires have risen and fallen, and advances and even destruction have been made. Change has definitely caused many negative side effects not only in our great city of RavenBlack, but in areas around the world. But, is it really the change causing it? I would be more inclined to say that it is indeed not the change itself creating problems, but those resistant within. Let me explain.

I will not let my Childer use my name as a weapon against one another, I will not tolerate any lie spoken by my own in my name, especially when it is threatening the very foundations of my legacy. Therefore I will have no mercy and will not hesitate to spill my own blood to clean the place.

"Your link with Vella has been severed."

~Lucius
First Official Slayer
First Official Duelist
Former Capadocian leader
Founder of the Ferrymen
Founder of the Temple of Lies
Co-Founder of the Amici Noctis
Co-Founder of the Shadow Court
Enforcer of Enlightenment
Husband of Damari
Childer in crime of Hesu

So, from what I have seen, although the previous several weeks have been rather boring in terms of action in this city, there has been a small brewing situation that has been plastered all over the headlines of another city paper. In this paper, a series of interviews and reports have been printed regarding the “atrocities” committed by a torpored vampire hiring a group who are loyal only to the almighty coin to attack another. The reporter in question has been all over this story (a term I will be using loosely throughout this piece) and then has been stunned and shocked about her treatment by one of the parties involved. So, in a motion of either reporting or shameless self-promotion (I’ve yet to determine at this time exactly which it is) the actions of said party have been slammed time and time again across the headlines. Interviews with various parties discussing the lack of honor or the lack of caring of reasoning behind the lining of pockets have been posted, and quite frankly, in my oh so humble opinion, this situation has been over-promoted to the point of turning the story into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Allow me to explain.

Well, I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve sat at my office here at the Grimoire Headquarters and cranked out a column for printing. So as I sit here attempting to pick a topic, I realize that although several things have happened in the city while I was on hiatus, everything still drones on and on. Binding here, zero there, whining here, stupidity there. The names and faces may change, but the general premise is still there. How unfortunate. So, since there isn’t any one remarkable thing to write about, you get stuck with my potentially insipid ramblings about unlife as I have seen it since my last column. Aren’t you excited?

Dear Mistress Sanguine,

Recently I heard my ex-husband's name being thrown about the City as being one of the richest blood suckers in the City.

Now, I don't mean to complain, but he reaaaallly doesn't need the money.. and I have three childer and an ass to support! All those years I supported him, his holy water habits, his extensive scroll of turning usage... and this is not even mentioning those high cost teleportation scrolls! All I can say is thank the Almighty RavenBlack for creating Scrolls of Succour. All those Necro fees and endless nights I spent in pubs trying to locate potions shops and discount shops.....well now that he is semi retired... I think its time for a little pay back.

Loyalty. Strength. Power. The misconception in this city is that this is only attainable by one. The vampire who can command all of this out of their members will stand supreme. Sometimes, the pire, or in this case, piress, who feels they have this begins to take pretty severe missteps and allows their ego, something determined by the self to be a great strength, to become their Achilles.

AQel, you have preached friendship and loyalty to our faces while you were digging behind our backs. You underestimated not only our physical strength, but our mental capabilities.

Having over TWENTY trustworthy vampires spanning SEVEN clans patiently doing their part in this plan to spoon feed you bullshit and keeping supreme secrecy at the forefront? THAT is loyalty. THAT is strength. THAT is power.

Dear Mistress Sanguine,
I'm stuck in one of the worse messes in my entire life, you see,there are 3 men in love with me, two I have children by and one of those two asked me to marry him and the third is very close to me, I can tell him anything. I don't know what to do, or which I should choose or how to tell the other two I can't be with them. Please help me

Signed, Torn between 3 loves

Take me as I am or leave me as I was. A statement that is often
uttered in various ways throughout the city and the world at
large, the context in which it's used can be viewed as very
proud, or very stupid. A statement of self confidence and even
arrogance, this statement and its various incarnations make it
quite clear: I'm perfect and don't mess with it. When used by
those that actually ARE on the top of their game, it can be the
perfect shot in a verbal debate or a very well executed
dismissal.

However, it is far too common for the vampires in this city to
use this statement as an ineffective excuse for their

Infidelity. I would venture a guess that three quarters of the city has been affected by this somehow, as it seems to have become a pastime for some vampires in this city. The last few months have shown this phenomenon scattered throughout the city’s newspapers. This 'pire severs their partner for infidelity. Other 'pires killing lovers for it. Some paranoid that it may have happened to them….others destroyed inside because they know it did. And yet others working it into their usual married routine as if it were reading a book or having a dinner date. After sitting back and watching several situations occur where the blame for said infidelity seemed to be cast in a bizarre fashion, I decided to go around and see whether the city is fucked in the head or if it’s just me.

I’m going to let you all in on a secret. As you know Ravenblack’s City is a cesspool of debauchery and lust. It is a vampire’s smorgasbord, with every type of evening’s entertainment and an endless supply of humans to feed upon.

The city of teeming with all types of establishments, from high-end social clubs to whore-laden dives along the docks. The Clans of the city have been responsible for the creation of most of the higher-end nightclubs, but where can respectable Vampires go to get away from the politics of the clans?

I know of such a place. It is a mixture of richness and risqué, where the alcohol is sweet and the bartenders are sweeter. Clan affiliations are checked at the door and do not exist within. It even has an onsite tattooist/piercer, unusual fur rugs, and lavish surroundings, including private suites upstairs.

Well, another year has passed in this thing that we call unlife. While we all set our goals for the upcoming year, let’s take a minute to go back in time and remember what we shouldn’t do again. I present to you the ten most stupid things/vampires in the city in 2006. I even have gifts! So, without further adieu:

10. jimmher and shaarinya: Poor unlife decisions all the way around caused you two to be the targets of two clans and a bloodline. I’m sure there were more, but it’s hard to keep track of all the zeroings… *hands you guys a copy of ‘Dummies for Dummies’.

9. EvilBill: You had a highly anticipated return and you squandered it on gathering your crew to kill Nonion’s partner and getting zeroed by your ex-wife. I want my money back.

Aries

You will lose your job this week, but don't worry; (what do you think you are doing working damn I mean your a vampire right?) take a look around there will be help from a large group of people.(who either want to zero you or want help to zero someone else) Money won't be as tight as you think that second job as a whore is working out for you). Not only will you be getting unemployment payments, but a rich relation will pass away unexpectedly (giggles vampire right unexpectedly right), and because of the years of sucking up, they have included you in their will. You will develop a taste from humans with coke habits. You then will win a couple of million at the Casino, The tax man hunts you down, because you haven't payed tax in several years, and tries cleaning you out.

AQUARIUS
It’s always a good time to take up a new sport, buy a new bag, sing a new song (oh when Satan comes marching in oh when Satan comes marching in how I want to be in his number) and try a new perfume. (ode dedeadhuamn is not so fetching after 10 months maybe take a bath as well) This is not a good time to trust a new love, or salesman, neither should you make strident accusations or get a daring haircut.(we love how you have the pageboy cut) Some of you have been out in the streets causing ruckus feeling all giddy and ready to rumble, don’t forget to take a bit of 4 x 2 just to beat home any that wont stay still. on a lighter note your most prized enemy has got a new hair cut and to put it mildly lets just say they are not going to make it to the front cover of vogue this or any year fast perhaps on the cover of what I did wrong with my hair.

Okay, so this is the week between one of the city’s best known functions, the Slave Auction. Twice a year, vampires gather from all over the city to get something to drink, engage in some social activity, and compete with other bidders for the services of their slave of choice.

What is the appeal of the slave auction? Well, to the buyer, there could be a variety of things. Having someone perform a specific task, quenching the need to be in control (even if it’s only for one week), or to purchase their own friend or loved one in order to get them entered into the lottery for the large pot that one lucky slave gets at the end of the auction. To the slave, money is usually given as the top answer with a few mentioning their submissive tendencies quickly under their breath, or the thrill of not knowing how much money they’d go for.

Well, it seems that the holy water is flying quite nicely here in Ravenblack...here's a recap.

EVILBILL IN SHADOWS; OPHELIA NOT STOPPING

According to ophelia Lokason, EvilBill has been in deep shadows for quite some time. Her crew has taken to blind scrolling him down. Apparently there was talk of ending it all on apologies, but terms between the two groups could not be met. When asked, ophelia had the following to say, "hiding won't help...dont start what you won't finish."

OBSIDIAN VERSUS LOSD MEMBERS CONTINUE; LOSD TAKES MEMBERSHIP HIT

Attacks have ensued between obsidian and current/former members of LoSD. Fontevrault of LoSD was able to negotiate a ceasefire for certain clan members while LoSD held an election for leadership. The ceasefire did not extend to DarkestDesire, Secret, or matej. Why? Well, Desire has been the main target all along. Secret and matej? Because they have big mouths and not enough socks to shove in them. How has the actual conflict gone? Well, Secret has allegedly left LoSD and attempted to negotiate a personal ceasefire after realizing that no, leaving the clan is not sufficient. The terms of this ceasefire were never met. And, well...

Integrity. It’s a big word that most claim to know and understand, but what does it really mean? According to Webster, integrity is uprightness, honesty, and sincerity. But is this a static definition, or has it developed into something more fluid? Let me explain.

Let’s say someone has an over inflated sense of self and feels that he or she has done more than they actually have. To help support this stance, white lies are told in hopes to gain support. Can this behavior coexist with a vampire that also has integrity? White lies are just that…white lies. Is it a big deal? Should it just be passed off and taken with a grain of salt although it may directly affect the perceived integrity of another party?